February 2012
How do you know you're a 90s kid?
You don’t stop fucking talking about how you know you’re a 90s kid
January 2012
What would Wilfred do?
I accidentally deadened my hand trying to warm it...
2 tags
Being the small spoon > being the big spoon
It’s so hard to sleep when there’s so much space in bed
What were you raised by Wolves? →
Oh fuck, prepare for the ‘first time this year’ jokes, sigh, and pretend that if you tolerate them a few more years you get to move planets
December 2011
Some people need to chill the fuck out
And I need to find someone at this party that doesn’t drink either so I may converse
Home, fucking finally home
It’s been a long… time, phone’s out of battery, I’ve been miiiiles away from wherever it is I live and the whole period was without glasses or contact lenses in. York would have been nice if I could see what the fuck was happening and didn’t have to stroll around squinting like Snoop Dogg. Coffee in Nero was embarrassing, I stalked around looking for a person I only...
I make the best coffee ever
Anyone who disagrees needs their head sorting, or will do after they challenge and lose to me in a coffee-making off
I’ll admit it, I can’t and don’t like to dance at gaudy, guido-infested clubs. I mean, what the fuck are the alpha-males point at? What do they see in the ceiling that I have failed to notice? Did they see a picture of cleavage and get excited?
1 tag
Kimchi is the devil
The tasty, tasty devil
Do thirteen year-olds know what they are clicking...
1 tag
Even though I become instantly depressed when I think I you, I’m still glad I met you
Just noticed this on here, a site that boasts a great deal of users of who endlessly preach how you don’t have to be skinny to be ‘beautiful’ and point out being fat isn’t a bad thing, in terms of aesthetics anyway.
Then why the fuck do the same people give compliments like ‘your not fat your beautiful’. I thought they could be synonymous? Have I missed...
3 tags
I accidentally quit smoking
It may be time for me to join the non-smoking master race in coughing obnoxiously in designated smoking areas, shooting off looks of disapproval and complaining incessantly about things I don’t participate in because the habits of others irritate me so much
I can hear my eyes blinking
I get all these texts and none of them are you
Oh well, green tea and honey
“There is no instance of a country having benefited from prolonged warfare.”
– Sun Tzu
Lights Out! →
I remember a day when I didn’t know what a dildo was
The fact that the internet works so much better in my flat at 4-6am doesn’t help me sleep. At all
1 tag
insidethecocoon:
For fucks sake i always always always forget to take my fucking glasses off before i sup half a cup of tea. The fact that i then can’t see for 10 minutes because the lenses are steamed up just ruins the whole brew for me.
November 2011
My flat is situated right next to a nursery
There isn’t an energy in the universe powerful enough to protect those little shits from my wrath if they make an ounce of sound
I've not moved from this bed in two hours
I feel like marmite stuck to the carpet after having been dropped onto the floor by some moron who can’t handle toast. Not feeling up for anything, ever
Kelvin Todd:
Time Traveler!
This feels like pokemon
That made me feel like a 14 year old
I’m currently cycling through night time Cambridge off my little face with Bob Marley playing in my ears. Don’t tell me I don’t know pleasure
Last Night mannnn
Absolutely sick night, got to meet Icicle after his set (he smashed it of course), I became music again, met loooooooooads of new people and made a bunch of chums, had a 15 minute discussion with the adorable dealer about how I was almost certainly not a cat then I ran into who I thought was the same person 5 times in a night, except all of them weren’t the person I thought they were. Should...
Cider, we meet again #TONIGHTSULTIMATESHOWDOWN
